| A golfer set up his ball on
the first tee, took a mighty swing and hit his ball into a clump of trees. He found his ball and saw an opening between two trees he thought he could hit through. He took another mighty swing with his 3-wood and the ball hit a tree, bounced back, hit him on the forehead and killed him. As he approached the gates of Heaven, St. Peter saw him coming and asked, "Are you a good golfer?" And he replied, "Got here in two, didn't I?" |
"Mildred, shut up"
cried the golfer at his nagging wife. "Shut up or you'll drive me out of my mind." "That," snapped Mildred, "wouldn't be a drive.... that would be a gimme putt." |
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